#1 Trending / Marketing

Man Sues Marketing Agency

for “Making Him Millions”

By Max Cliques
3 min read  •  1h ago

An unnamed businessman files a lawsuit against local marketing agency in the District Court.

In a bizarre twist that has left both the legal and marketing worlds scratching their heads, a high-flying (but currently name-suppressed) businessman has filed a civil suit against an unnamed Canterbury based marketing agency.

His complaint? They were “too effective”.

“I came to them expecting a few jazzy Instagram posts and maybe a flyer with a stock photo of a handshake,” said the anonymous businessman, nervously explaining himself in court. “What I got instead was total brand transformation, strategic digital execution, and a 340% increase in net profit. Frankly, it’s offensive.”

The Complainant claims he “wasn’t mentally prepared” for the overnight influx of customers, relentless brand recognition, and awkward compliments from extended family members who “never liked him much before”.

In court documents, he described the experience as “a blindside of brilliance”.

The man, described by insiders as a walking stereotype—pinstripe suit, leather briefcase, and an undiagnosed addiction to LinkedIn—initially approached the agency to “freshen up the logo a bit” and “maybe try one of those viral TikToks.”

Instead, the agency did the unthinkable:
They listened, researched, strategised, and then delivered.

Within weeks, the businessman’s company, “TrustyCorp Solutions International Holdings Limited & Sons”, became a household name—despite no one fully understanding what they actually did. His inbox exploded with enquiries, his staff numbers tripled, and one of their ad campaigns was even mistaken for a global Nike launch.

“This is not what I expected from a marketing agency,” he said. “They were… nice. They responded to emails. They showed up to meetings on time. I didn’t even get ghosted once. Frankly, it was disturbing.”

The lawsuit, filed under the vague and slightly desperate legal precedent of “Emotional Distress Due to Unanticipated Excellence”, claims damages in the form of:

• Excessive profits
• Too many customers
• Increased pressure to be a good boss
• Unwanted attention from Forbes

When asked what outcome he hopes to achieve from the lawsuit, the businessman simply said, “I just want things to go back to the way they were—quiet, average, forgettable.”

The agency issued a short but confident statement:

“We apologise for being amazing. We’ll try to do worse next time.”